With an episode slightly longer than the series premiere, I was hoping it wouldn’t disappoint. And of course, it didn’t. This episode was full of answers and more creepiness setting us all up for more of those sleepless nights. Let’s just call it the Ryan Murphy effect.
One thing is for certain, Detective John Lowe’s 8 or something year old daughter Scarlet is the real detective on this show and I am scared to think what is in her future at Hotel Cortez. The Countess obviously isn’t shy to creep up the kids as we’ve seen through her dull eyed, blonde haired, blood sucker children!
The beginning of the episode centers around a fashion show put together by new Hotel Cortez owner, Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson). Everyone is there from Detective John Lowe and his daughter Scarlet (who is hanging around with Drake’s son Lachlan), The Countess with Donovan, and an appearance by Naomi Campbell presumably playing herself as a guest in the audience. Here at the fashion show, we meet the angry and drug craving model Tristan Duffy played by the super talented Finn Wittrock who we will get back to later. And who also has the most hideous hairstyle that may actually be the scariest thing at that hotel…if you take away teeth crumbling Sally and dark hallways with no exits that have maggot filled sandwiches in them and like, a lot of other things. Damn Ryan Murphy.
Since all little kids want to sit at fashion shows and be bored to death, Scarlet and her designated, same-age mentor, Lachlan find their way to The Countess’ blonde haired kids lair. Two points to bad ass kids with negligent parents. Scarlet sees her brother, Holden, and later in the episode she even gets a selfie with him to prove to her father that their beloved Holden is alive. Well, alive in spirit…kind of…OK, he is dead. Unfortunately, parents don’t believe kids who have selfies with blurred out figures in their phone. However, Scarlet’s detective skills did lead her father into remembering how to use his own. Lowe takes those skills to Iris who tells us the origins of Hotel Cortez over a drink poured by our favorite bartender, Liz Taylor (Denis O’Hare). 4 points for Liz Taylor! Who wouldn’t deny a drink in the middle of running after your dead child or constantly hearing about him? Er, Detective John Lowe.
Iris opens up to Detective John Lowe about the history of the hotel faster than she forced that detox, oyster slushy down the throats of two foreign girls in the series opener. Who are now long gone.
Momma Iris tells us what we all we want to know as we enter the dark beginning of Hotel Cortez, built back in the 1920s by East Coast rejected, oil invested, billionaire Mr. March (played by AHS alumni, Evan Peters). Mr. March built this hotel with one purpose in mind; torture. He was against religion and had a wife who we don’t quite see. This mysterious wife is who is assumed to have turned him in for all of his torture which leads to him slitting his own throat and killing Ms. Evers (the Laundress) before the police get through the door. This sums up the origins of Hotel Cortez. We do know that Evers and Mr. March are still doing their dirt, in present day, at Hotel Cortez thank to the drug searching, Tristan Duffy. Instead of finding cocaine or meth or anything that can get you high, Tristan finds Mr. March who blows a prostitute’s brains out. 2 points to Ms. Evers who is the only person on earth happy to do laundry…with blood and brain stains.
Tristan Duff runs off from Mr. March into the hands of The Countess who eventually turns him into the bloodsucker that she is. This also pisses Donovan off who is told to pack up and leave after obviously being replaced by Tristan and his hair. Gaga portrays the perfect blood sucking seductress as she sums up the rules of the blood virus she has, and now Tristan. A few lessons we learn from The Countess this episode is that you are only immortal if you are smart meaning you can be killed! The sunlight won’t kill you but it takes your vitality away and there are no fangs. Why have fangs when you can slit throats and have blood squirting out everywhere? 2 points for modern day blood suckers. Oh yeah, don’t fall in love with anyone but The Countess if she turns you because she is obviously selfish and wants all the young, hot guys for herself. And maybe as sad as Sarah Paulson’s portrayal of the love searching, body mattress stuffing, heroin addict in Sally.
The second episode of American Horror Story: Hotel delivered so many answers and compelling storytelling that we will all be waiting for our next dose of nightmares and paranoia. At least we have a week to prepare. 2 points for Ryan Murphy’s twisted mind and reminding me Motels still existed. Thank me later.
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