Melissa McCarthy is without a doubt, one of the funniest comediennes of today. She had the breakthrough role in Bridesmaids which earned her numerous accolades including a Best Supporting Actress nod. Why on earth would she take on a role that is so annoying that it could make my annoying family member look brilliant is beyond me? Identity Thief unfortunately falls into the usual trap of things that are “too good to be true.” The product sounds great in the sales pitch. However, when you read the fine print, or suffer through the 112 minutes like I have, you will soon realize that Thief could not steal my funny bone.

Sandy Bigelow Patterson (Jason Bateman) is an overworked underpaid accountant who receives a phone call from a woman who claims she works for an identity fraud protection agency. Thinking that this was legit, the gullible Sandy gives up his birthdate, address and social security number to the woman thinking he was safe, right? The woman on the other line was Diana (Melissa McCarthy) a scam artist who used Sandy’s identity by going on a spending spree worth thousands of dollars in her home state of Florida.

One day when the real Sandy’s credit card was declined at a gas station and the police arrested him because of a warrant, Sandy finally put two and two together and realized that he is the victim of identity theft. With the local police not lifting a finger due to jurisdiction and his new job on the line, Sandy flies out to Florida to confront Diana and back her back to Colorado to hopefully clear his name.  While going on this road trip of hell, Sandy and Diana are being pursued by a bounty hunter (Robert Patrick) and two professional hitpersons (Genesis Rodriguez & Tip “T.I.” Harris) who make complete fools of themselves rather than give any impact on the film.

Identity Thief is a flawed movie. It fails when writer Craig Mazin and director Seth Gordon puts more sympathy to Diana than Sandy. Diana is alone in the world, no family to comfort her. Yet, her only high is to steal the identities of hard working people in order to make her likable. Now where had I seen part of this plot before? I am sorry but are really supposed to hold Diana’s hand for nearly two hours and tell her that we forgive her for her downtrodden life while she constantly make the same mistakes. Its conduct unbecoming of telling a good story but we are led to believe that this movie is good.

We cannot put the blame on McCarthy nor Bateman for the awful movie.  McCarthy did her best for her role but it did not deliver the same laughs as her role in Bridesmaids or her performance when she hosted SNL.  While Bateman falls into the Michael Cera trap, playing the same type character in numerous films. In previous films, the formula worked but with Thief, I didn’t feel a thing for Sandy except sympathy for having a unisex name.  Let’s be honest would anyone of us have sympathy for Sandy for doing what he did to recover his good name. It’s not worth getting punched in the throat one too many times.

In a hope to steal our funny bones this weekend, we found evidence to put this thief behind bars for a short time on the big screen. The charge: Wasting the audience time and money & the comedic talent of one Melissa McCarthy.

FINAL GRADE: D+

About The Author

Dean Rogers

Editor-in-Chief/Entertainment Reporter

I knew early on that I wanted to take my place among the stars. One day, my mother saw me reading The Washington Post at a very young age. Who would have known that it would be the building blocks of my journey? Since that day, I dedicated my life to learn all that is learnable. I read everything from encyclopedias, to books, to dictionaries, to magazines. I’m also an avid consumer of television, with my favorite genre being game shows. If you’ve seen me on Who Wants to be a Millionaire or Wheel of Fortune, then you know that this interest has served me well!

My unique style of reporting began back in junior high school, when I started to chronicle the events that shaped my life. Whether it was the annual family vacation or the local science fiction convention, I shot numerous pictures and recorded my thoughts so I could truly appreciate the history. During my senior year at Friendly High, I wrote what was to be my first masterpiece, “Advanced Space Academy – A One Week Journey.” I sent the eleven-page article back to the U.S. Space Camp staff. The article was highly praised for being “one of the best written articles in the history of U.S. Space Camp.” From then on, I knew what I wanted to do for rest of my life — to be a reporter.

Since then, I have trained in Broadcast Journalism at Bowie State University (2008) in Bowie, MD earning a B.S. in Communications. I gained experience in news production and editing through field experiences with Bowie Community Media Corporation, Prince George’s Community Television, and Bowie State University Television. I also wrote scripts for a variety of quiz shows for over five years.

As a lifelong movie buff, I now see close to 100 films every year. I took this love of movies to the next step when I became a co-host for Eclipse Magazine TV in the fall of 2005. While at EMTV, I interviewed celebrities, worked red carpets, and attended a wide variety of movie screenings. In January 2009, I took a leap of faith and started my own entertainment news magazine, The Rogers Revue. Shortly afterward, my life-long journey of studying the silver screen and writing about what I learned finally earned me a place in the Washington Area Film Critics Association.

All of this has led me here, giving you the latest entertainment news for the DMV and the entire nation, and I am truly excited for whatever will come next.

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